A Leap of Faith
If, at first, I don't succeed...
I just quit my job. Again.
I did the same thing in early 2021 so I could finish the book I was working on in case the world or I ended with COVID.
As I did four years ago, I am leaving a fine position, fantastic colleagues, a stellar boss, and an extraordinary mission in higher education to finish that same darn book.
I should be embarrassed by the fact that I’ve been down this road before with little success. At least be too embarrassed to announce it in a Substack posting. What happened last time? It turned out to be a time for concentrating on other things, but that’s another essay.
For this latest attempt, I’m equally terrified. And I’m inviting you to follow along.
What should feel like crossing with ease into the next room, based on my years as a published writer who’s been able to earn a living, instead feels like that scene in the Raiders of the Lost Ark sequel when Indiana Jones has to step onto an invisible bridge, but the bridge won’t be there until he takes the first step.
You know, that feeling. In the film, I think it’s a statement on faith, or an illustration of relying on what we know versus the unknown.
On the 1 train from the Bronx, where I live, to Brooklyn, where I’ve been commuting since 2023, I encounter a huge cross section of humanity. It’s not difficult to look around the subway car and imagine who is praying, who is angry, who needs help, who’s at the end of their rope.
So my most recent foray into “this is what I want to do with my life” at my age (Late Boomer) may not be as big a deal as Indy trying to save his dad Sean Connery lying in the next cave, or as complicated as whatever almost anyone else on the train is going through. Not to mention those who are near and dear to me coping with disease, discrimination, divisiveness, disorder, depression or debt.
But I have a desire to explore what happens when one grows into one’s own life, and it is perceived as betrayal.
J. Krishnamurti, the spiritual teacher, says that the nature of desire is always a contradiction. Desire infers the pursuit of pleasure or the avoidance of pain. Do not desire, he says, just do. Just be. Live.
And if witnessing someone take a leap touches you, watch this!
If not now…
Lead on…